No, really. He was a beautiful man. Handsome, sensitive, motivated, but completely oblivious to the err in his ways when he suggested that I cook him glutenous cupcakes instead of gluten-free ones that I offered.
But hear me out - I'm no unreasonable urchin. I GET that there's a stigma against gluten-free food. I had it, too! But I also had severe depression from malabsorbtion, and anemia so bad that I probably should have been hospitalized.
So when it came to these cupcakes all I could think about were my brand new kitchen supplies. I was diagnosed and went all Jumanji on my old contaminated pots and pans.
So no, adorable-looking man, I'm not too open to cooking glutenous cupcakes for your birthday in my kitchen. And while I can see how you might think your suggestion to bake them at another location is helpful, possibly sweet, you should know that this is insulting.
But the worst part of it?
I actually did it.
The rejection of a cute boy not wanting to try my gluten-free cupcakes was such a low blow to my ego that I complied to his plans even though I knew I was putting myself at risk, both physically and emotionally.
So I baked him glutenous cupcakes while he cooked me dinner (a dinner in which he did not check the ingredient labels, by the way). And after dinner he pulled out two plates for the cupcakes and I had to remind him that I didn't need one. So he took the one plate and placed one cupcake on it, and while I sang Happy Birthday to him he took one giant bite into it while staring at me.
A month and a half into being gluten free, I don't recommend dating this guy.
And don't bake the cupcakes.